Classic Definitions & Cool Meanings

1. Cigarette : A pinch of tobacco rolled in paper with fire at one end &a fool at the other.
2. Love affairs : Something like cricket where one-day internationalsare more popular than a five day test.
3. Marriage : It's an agreement in which a man loses his bachelor degreeand a woman gains her master
4. Divorce : Future tense of marriage
5. Lecture : An art of transferring information from the notes of thelecturer to the notes of the students without passing through "the mindsof either".
6. Conference : The confusion of one man multiplied by the numberpresent.
7. Compromise : The art of dividing a cake in such a way that everybodybelieves he got the biggest piece.
8. Tears : The hydraulic force by which masculine will-power is defeatedby feminine water-power ..
9. Dictionary : A place where divorce comes before marriage.
10. Conference Room : A place where everybody talks, nobody listens &everybody disagrees later on.
11. Ecstasy : A feeling when you feel you are going to feel a feelingyou have never felt before.
12. Classic : A book which people praise, but do not read.
13. Smile : A curve that can set a lot of things straight.
14. Office : A place where you can relax after your strenuous home life.
15. Yawn : The only time some married men ever get to open their mouth.
16. Etc. : A sign to make others believe that you know more than you
17. Committee: Individuals who can do nothing individually and sittodecide that nothing can be done together.
18. Experience : The name men give to their mistakes.
19. Atom Bomb: An invention to end all inventions.
20. Philosopher : A fool who torments himself during life, to be spokenof when dead.
21. Diplomat : A person who tells you to go to hell in such a way thatyou actually look forward to the trip.
22. Opportunist : A person who starts taking bath if he accidentallyfalls into a river.
23. Optimist : A person who while falling from Eiffel Tower says inmidway "See I am not injured yet."
24. Pessimist :- A person who says that O is the last letter in ZERO,Instead of the first letter in word OPPORTUNITY.
25. Miser : A person who lives poor so that he can die rich.
26. Father : A banker provided by nature.
27. Criminal : A guy no different from the rest... except that he gotcaught.
28. Boss : Someone who is early when you are late and late when you areearly.
29. Politician : One who shakes your hand before elections and yourConfidence after.
30. Doctor : A person who kills your ills by pills, and kills you withhis bills.
31. Software Engineer : One who gets paid for reading and forwardingsuch mails...