Marriage quotes and facts

I recently read that love is entirely a matter of chemistry. That must be why my wife treats me like toxic waste.

When a man steals your wife, there is no better revenge than to let himkeep her. -Sacha Guitry

After marriage, husband and wife become two sides of a coin; they justcan't face each other, but still they stay together.

By all means marry. If you get a good wife, you'll be happy. If you geta bad one, you'll become a philosopher.

Woman inspires us to great things, and prevents us from achieving them.

The great question... which I have not been able to answer... is, "Whatdoes a woman want?

I had some words with my wife, and she had some paragraphs with me.

"Some people ask the secret of our long marriage. We take time to go toa restaurant two times a week. A little candlelight, dinner, soft musicand dancing. She goes Tuesdays, I go Fridays."

"I don't worry about terrorism. I was married for two years."

"There's a way of transferring funds that is even faster than electronicbanking. It's called marriage."

"I've had bad luck with both my wives. The first one left me and thesecond one didn't."

Two secrets to keep your marriage brimming 1. Whenever you're wrong,admit it, 2. Whenever you're right, shut up.

The most effective way to remember your wife's birthday is to forget it once...

You know what I did before I married? Anything I wanted to.

My wife and I were happy for twenty years. Then we met.

A good wife always forgives her husband when she's wrong.

Marriage is the only war where one sleeps with the enemy.

A man inserted an 'ad' in the classifieds: "Wife wanted". Next day hereceived a hundred letters. They all said the same thing: "You can havemine."

First Guy (proudly): "My wife's an angel!" Second Guy "You're lucky,mine's still alive."