First fly!

Direct link: http://ibnlive.in.com/videos/95114/obama-gets-the-sucker-swats-fly-on-tv.html

Aircraft maintenance log

After every flight, XYZ pilots fill out a form called a problem sheet, which conveys to the mechanics, problems encountered with the aircraft during the flight that need repair or correction. The engineers read and correct the problem, and then respond in writing on the lower half of the form what remedial action was taken, and the pilot reviews the sheets before the next flight.
Of course, the ground crew and engineers have a sense of humor too.
So, here are some actual logged maintenance complaints and problems as submitted by XYZ pilots and the solutions recorded by maintenance engineers.

(By the way, XYZ is the only major airline that has never had an accident.)


read on .... : )

P = The problem logged by the pilot
S = The solution logged by the engineers

P: Left inside main tire almost needs replacement.
S: Almost replaced left inside main tire.

P: Test flight OK, except auto-land very rough.
S: Auto-land not installed on this aircraft.

P: Something loose in cockpit.
S: Something tightened in cockpit

P: Autopilot in altitude-hold mode produces a 200 feet per minute descent.
S: Cannot reproduce problem on ground.

P: Evidence of leak on right main landing gear.
S: Evidence removed.

P: DME volume unbelievably loud.
S: DME volume set to more believable level .

P: Friction locks cause throttle levers to stick.
S: That's what they're there for.

P: IFF inoperative.
S: IFF always inoperative in OFF mode.

P: Suspected crack in windshield.
S: Suspect you're right.

P: Number 3 engine missing.
S: Engine found on right wing after brief search.

P: Aircraft handles funny.
S: Aircraft warned to straighten up, fly right, and be serious.

P: Target radar hums.
S: Reprogrammed target radar with lyrics.

P: Mouse in cockpit.
S: Cat installed.

Thank God you're a man

The picture says all. :)

Famous Rejection Lines from Women

…and what they really mean.

10. I think of you as a brother. (You remind me of that inbred banjo-playing kid in ‘Deliverance.’)

9. There’s a slight difference in our ages. (I don’t want to do my dad.)

8. I’m not attracted to you in ‘that’ way. (You are the ugliest dork I’ve ever laid eyes on.)

7. My life is too complicated right now. (I don’t want you spending the whole night or else you may hear phone calls from all the other guys I’m seeing.)

6. I’ve got a boyfriend. (I prefer my male cat and a half gallon of Ben and Jerry’s.)

5. I don’t date men where I work. (I wouldn’t date you if you were in the same ’solar system’, much less the same building.)

4. It’s not you, it’s me. (It’s you.)

3. I’m concentrating on my career. (Even something as boring and unfulfilling as my job is better than dating you.)

2. I’m celibate. (I’ve sworn off only the men like you.)

1. Let’s be friends. (I want you to stay around so I can tell you in excruciating detail about all the other men I meet and have sex with. It’s the male perspective thing.)

Think Smart : Investment Plan !

If you purchased Rs1,00,000 of Delta Airlines stock 1 year ago, you would have Rs 4,900 today.

If you purchased Rs1,00,000 of AIG stock 1 year ago, you would have Rs 3,300 today.

If you purchased Rs.1,00,000of Lehman Brothers stock 1 year ago, you would have Rs 0.0 today.



But, if you purchased Rs.1,00,000 worth of beer 1 year ago, drank all the beer, returned the aluminum cans for a recycling refund, you would have Rs. 21,400!!!


Think Smart!!