UN Survey !

A World wide survey was conducted by the UN. The only question asked was:

"Would you please give your honest opinion about solutions to the food shortage in the rest of the world?"

The survey was a huge failure,
In Africa they didn't know what 'food' meant,
In India they didn't know what 'honest' meant,
In Europe they didn't know what 'shortage' meant,
In China they didn't know what 'opinion' meant,
In the Middle East they didn't know what 'solution' meant,
In South America they didn't know what 'please' meant,
And in the USA they didn't know what 'the rest of the world' meant!

Self Appraisal

A little boy went into a drug store, reached for a
soda carton and pulled it over to the telephone. He
climbed onto the carton so that he could reach the
buttons on the phone and proceeded to punch in seven
digits (phone numbers).

The store-owner observed and listened to the
conversation:

Boy: "Lady, Can you give me the job of cutting your
lawn?
Woman: (at the other end of the phone line): "I
already have someone to cut my lawn."

Boy: "Lady, I will cut your lawn for half the price of
the person who cuts your lawn now."
Woman: I'm very satisfied with the person who is
presently cutting my lawn.

Boy: (with more perseverance): "Lady, I'll even sweep
your curb and your sidewalk, so on Sunday you will
have the prettiest lawn in all of Palm beach , Florida
."
Woman: No, thank you.

With a smile on his face, the little boy replaced the
receiver. The store-owner, who was listening to all
this, walked over to the boy.

Store Owner: "Son... I like your attitude; I like that
positive spirit and would like to offer you a job."
Boy: "No thanks,

Store Owner: But you were really pleading for one.
Boy: No Sir, I was just checking my performance at the
job I already have. I am the one who is working for
that lady, I was talking to!"



This is what called as "Self Appraisal"

Nissan Pathfinder ad

Interesting Facts

1) How long did the Hundred Years War last? 116 years
2) Which country makes Panama hats? Ecuador
3) From which animal do we get cat gut? Sheep and Horses
4) In which month do Russians celebrate the October Revolution?November
5) What is a camel's hair brush made of? Squirrel fur
6) The Canary Islands in the Pacific are named after what animal? Dogs
7) What was King George VI's first name? Albert
8) What colour is a purple finch? Crimson
9) Where are Chinese gooseberries from? New Zealand
10) What is the colour of the black box in a commercial airplane? Orange [of course]

(Italic word(s) are answer to the questions.)

One is enough : Enjoy

Bengali


One Bengali = poet.

Two Bengalis = a film society.

Three Bengalis = political party.

Four Bengalis = two political parties.

More than four Bengali's = Countrywide agitation to bring Ganguli into Team .


Bihari


One Bihari = Laloo Prasad Yadav.

Two Biharis = booth-capturing squad.

Three Biharis = caste killing.

Four Biharis = entire literate population of Patna .


Punjabi


One Punjabi =100 kg hulk named Pinky.

Two Punjabis = Pinky with his bigger brother Twinky.

Three Punjabis = assault on the McAloo Tikkis at the local McDonalds.

Four Punjabis = combined IQ equal to one.



UP Bhaiyya


One UP bhaiyya = a milkman.

Two UP bhaiyyas = halwai shop.

Three UP bhaiyyas = a fist-fight in the UP assembly.

Four UP bhaiyyas = mosque-destruction squad.


Gujju


One Gujju = share-broker in a Bombay train.

Two Gujjus = rummy game in a Bombay train.

Three Gujjus = Bombay 's noisiest restaurant.

Four Gujjus = stock market scam.


Andhraite


One Andhraite = chili farmer.

Two Andhraites = software company in New Jersey .

Three Andhraites = Naxalite outfit.

Four Andhraites = song-and-dance number in a Telugu movie.


Kashmiri


One Kashmiri = carpet salesman.

Two Kashmiris = carpet factory.

Three Kashmiris = terrorist outfit.

Four Kashmiris = shoot-at-sight order.


Tamil-Brahmin


One Tam-Brahm = priest at the Vardarajaperumal temple.

Two Tam-Brahms = Maths tuition class.

Three Tam-Brahms = Queue outside the U.S consulate at 4 a.m.

Four Tam-Brahms = Thyagaraja music festival in Santa Clara


Mumbaikar


One Mumbaikar = footpath vada-pav stall.

Two Mumbaikars= film studio.

Three Mumbaikars = slum.

Four Mumbaikars = The number of people standing on your foot in the train at rush hour.


Sindhi


One Sindhi = currency racket.

Two Sindhis = papad factory.

Three Sindhis = duplicate goods shop in Ulhasnagar .

Four Sindhis = Hong Kong Retail Traders Association.


Marwari


One Marwari = The neighbourhood foodstuffs adulterator.

Two Marwaris = 50% of Calcutta

Three Marwaris = Finish off all Gujaratis & Sindhis.

Four Marwaris = Threaten the Jews as a community.


Haryanvi


One Haryanavi = tube light

Two Haryanavi = agriculture

Three Haryannavi= Lathi squad

Four Haryanavi = actually just one was enough
Mallu

One Mallu = coconut stall.

Two Mallus = a boat race.

Three Mallus = Gulf job racket.

Four Mallus = oil slick.