Fundas of life ...

Whenever I find the key to success, someone changes the lock.

To Err is human, to forgive is not a COMPANY policy.

The road to success…….. is always under construction.

Alcohol doesn't solve any problems, but if you think again, neither does Milk.

In order to get a Loan, you first need to prove that you don't need it.

All the desirable things in life are either illegal, expensive or with some 1 else!!!

Since Light travels faster than Sound, people appear brighter before you hear them speak.

Everyone has a scheme of getting rich….. which never works.

If at first you don't succeed…. Destroy all evidence that you ever tried.

You can never determine which side of the bread to butter. If it falls down, it will always land on the buttered side.

Anything dropped on the floor will roll over to the most inaccessible corner.

***** 42.7% of all statistics is made on the spot. *****

As soon as you mention something…… if it is good, it is taken…. If it is bad, it happens.

He who has the gold, makes the rules ---- Murphy's golden rule.

If you come early, the bus is late. If you come late…… the bus is still late.

Once you have bought something, you will find the same item being sold somewhere else at a cheaper rate.

When in a queue, the other line always moves faster and the person in front of you will always have the most complex of transactions.

If you have paper, you don't have a pen……. If you have a pen, you don't have paper…… if you have both, no one calls.

You will pick up maximum wrong numbers when on roaming.

The door bell or your mobile will always ring when you are in the bathroom.

After a long wait for bus no.20, two 20 number buses will always pull in together and the bus which you get in will be crowded than the other.

The last person to be fired or quit is responsible for all the errors until another person is fired or quits.

Irrespective of the direction of the wind, the smoke from the cigarette will always tend to go to the non-smoker.

I know my blood is precious….So I am preserving it in ALCOHOL!!!

Marriage quotes and facts

I recently read that love is entirely a matter of chemistry. That must be why my wife treats me like toxic waste.

When a man steals your wife, there is no better revenge than to let himkeep her. -Sacha Guitry

After marriage, husband and wife become two sides of a coin; they justcan't face each other, but still they stay together.

By all means marry. If you get a good wife, you'll be happy. If you geta bad one, you'll become a philosopher.

Woman inspires us to great things, and prevents us from achieving them.

The great question... which I have not been able to answer... is, "Whatdoes a woman want?

I had some words with my wife, and she had some paragraphs with me.

"Some people ask the secret of our long marriage. We take time to go toa restaurant two times a week. A little candlelight, dinner, soft musicand dancing. She goes Tuesdays, I go Fridays."

"I don't worry about terrorism. I was married for two years."

"There's a way of transferring funds that is even faster than electronicbanking. It's called marriage."

"I've had bad luck with both my wives. The first one left me and thesecond one didn't."

Two secrets to keep your marriage brimming 1. Whenever you're wrong,admit it, 2. Whenever you're right, shut up.

The most effective way to remember your wife's birthday is to forget it once...

You know what I did before I married? Anything I wanted to.

My wife and I were happy for twenty years. Then we met.

A good wife always forgives her husband when she's wrong.

Marriage is the only war where one sleeps with the enemy.

A man inserted an 'ad' in the classifieds: "Wife wanted". Next day hereceived a hundred letters. They all said the same thing: "You can havemine."

First Guy (proudly): "My wife's an angel!" Second Guy "You're lucky,mine's still alive."

love vs. marriage

A student asks a teacher: What is love?

The teacher said: in order to answer your question, go to the paddy field and choose the biggest paddy and come back.
But the rule is: you can go through them only once and cannot turn back to pick.

The student went to the field, go thru first row, he saw one big paddy, but he wonders....may be there is a bigger one later. Then he sawanother bigger one... but may be there is an even bigger one waiting forhim.
Later, when he finished more than half of the paddy field, he start to realize that the paddy is not as big as the previous one he saw, he know he has missed the biggest one, and he regretted. So, he ended up went back to the teacher with empty hand.

The teacher told him, this is love... you keep looking for a better one, but when later you realize, you have already miss the person


The student asked: What is marriage then?

The teacher said: In order to answer your question, go to the corn field and choose the biggest corn and come back.
But the rule is: you can go through them only once and cannot turn back to pick.

The student went to the corn field, this time he is careful not to repeat the previous mistake, when he reach the middle of the field, he has picked one medium corn that he feel satisfied, and came back to the teacher.

The teacher told him, this time you bring back a corn.... you look for one that is just nice, and you have faith and believe this is the best one you get.... this is marriage

Beauty of Maths

1 x 8 + 1 = 9
12 x 8 + 2 = 98
123 x 8 + 3 = 987
1234 x 8 + 4 = 9876
12345 x 8 + 5 = 98765
123456 x 8 + 6 = 987654
1234567 x 8 + 7 = 9876543
12345678 x 8 + 8 = 98765432
123456789 x 8 + 9 = 987654321

1 x 9 + 2 = 11
12 x 9 + 3 = 111
123 x 9 + 4 = 1111
1234 x 9 + 5 = 11111
12345 x 9 + 6 = 111111
123456 x 9 + 7 = 1111111
1234567 x 9 + 8 = 11111111
12345678 x 9 + 9 = 111111111
123456789 x 9 +10= 1111111111

9 x 9 + 7 = 88
98 x 9 + 6 = 888
987 x 9 + 5 = 8888
9876 x 9 + 4 = 88888
98765 x 9 + 3 = 888888
987654 x 9 + 2 = 8888888
9876543 x 9 + 1 = 88888888
98765432 x 9 + 0 = 888888888

1 x 1 = 1
11 x 11 = 121
111 x 111 = 12321
1111 x 1111 = 1234321
11111 x 11111 = 123454321
111111 x 111111 = 12345654321
1111111 x 1111111 = 1234567654321
11111111 x 11111111 = 123456787654321
111111111 x 111111111 = 12345678987654321

Managerial Etiquette

Junior manager, a senior manager and their boss are on their way to a meeting. On their way through a park, they come across a wonder lamp.

They rub the lamp and a ghost appears. The ghost says, "Normally, one is granted three wishes but as you are three, I will allow one wish each".

So the eager senior manager shouted, I want the first wish. I want to be in the Bahamas, on a fast boat and have no worries.

"Pfufffff, and he was gone.

Now the junior manager could not keep quiet and shouted "I want to be in Florida with beautiful girls, plenty of food and cocktails.

"Pfufffff, and he was also gone.

The boss calmly said," I want these two idiots back in the office after lunch at 12.35pm".

Moral : "Always allow the boss to speak first"

Chanakya neeti

"A person should not be too honest. Straight trees are cut first and honest people are screwed first."

"Even if a snake is not poisonous, it should pretend to be venomous."

"The biggest guru-mantra is: Never share your secrets with anybody. It will destroy you."

"There is some self-interest behind every friendship. There is no friendship without self-interests. This is a bitter truth."

"Before you start some work, always ask yourself three questions - Why am I doing it, What the results might be and Will I be successful. Only when you think deeply and find satisfactory answers to these questions, go ahead."

"As soon as the fear approaches near, attack and destroy it."

"The world's biggest power is the youth and beauty of a woman."

"Once you start a working on something, don't be afraid of failure and don't abandon it. People who work sincerely are the happiest."

"The fragrance of flowers spreads only in the direction of the wind. But the goodness of a person spreads in all direction."

"God is not present in idols. Your feelings are your god. The soul is your temple."

"A man is great by deeds, not by birth."

"Never make friends with people who are above or below you in status. Such friendships will never give you any happiness."

"Treat your kid like a darling for the first five years. For the next five years, scold them. By the time they turn sixteen, treat them like a friend. Your grown up children are your best friends."

"Books are as useful to a stupid person as a mirror is useful to a blind person."

"Education is the best friend. An educated person is respected everywhere. Education beats the beauty and the youth."

- Chanakya quotes (Indian politician, strategist and writer, 350 BC-275 BC)